Girls, I hate them I think
by kianbung
Summary: Yawn... Girls are so annoying. I hate them.'
1. A Cliché Scenario

_Disclaimer:  
Seriously, everyone is saying this. The owners of Naruto should get it by now, no? I don't own Naruto, but I do own a PC, a copy of Microsoft Office 2003, and a twisted mind that demands that I write a fanfic for Naruto... Arrgh, it's the voices in my head again... No!!!  
  
_Author's Note:  
Another ShikaIno love story and I hope I don't disappoint you guys (and girls). I really like Shikamaru, he can be said to be my favourite character in Naruto. And I think Ino is so cute. (Aww... Actually Hinata is much, much cuter, but I like Ino as well...)  
  
This is my first story (and chapter... duh) for , but please don't go soft on me just because of that. I strive for improvement, so any and all constructive criticism is appreciated. But no flames please, my innocent mind cannot tolerate such mindless acts. Thanks to all reviewers in advance.  
  
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**  
Girls, I hate them... I think  
****A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung  
  
****Chapter 01: A Cliché Scenario**

A shrill ringing tore Shikamaru from the depths of his slumber into reality.

_'Damned alarm clock, I have no idea why I even bothered using you,'_ he thought as he buried his head in his pillow, trying to ignore the scream of the accursed timekeeper.

"Bah!" he groaned as he slammed his palm onto the clock the shut it up. He slowly pulled himself up and sat up on his bed. He gave a long, lazy yawn as his mind chanted, _'Hell hath no pain and suffering like getting up six in the morning.'_

He tore himself from bed and walked into the bathroom. "Yet another boring day as a ninja..." he sighed to himself. After washing up, he dragged himself to the dining table, where his mother and father are already finishing up breakfast.

"Nara Shikamaru," his mother started, "can't you see what time it is?! Honestly, you're a younger version of your lazy father! I don't even know why I married that bum! Now finish your breakfast quickly before you're both late again!" As she said that, she slammed a bowl of freshly-cooked ramen onto the table and started clearing the rest of the table.

_'On the contrary, my dear mother, I'm always the earliest of my team thanks to your weird sense of timing...'_ Shikamaru sighed in his mind, but dared not speak out loud for fear of getting another lecture. His mother was like that. _'Females - they want you to be early but they're always late,' _he remembered how his mother was always late because she had to dress up 'properly'.

"Bah, females are so bothersome. I hate them..." Shikamaru mumbled in front of his father as soon as his mother was out of earshot, slurping up his ramen slowly and calmly.

"You might think that now, my son. I was like you until the day I first kissed your mother," Shikamaru's father explained, "Sure, she may be a loud-mouthed monster most of the time, screaming at us at the slightest provocation, but she really has a soft heart and she loves me more than anything else in the world..." Shikamaru's father grinned as he said that, not noticing that his wife was just behind him, fists clenched and growling like a rabid beast.

Shikamaru turned his attention towards his ramen and started slurping it up nonchalantly and sighed, "You're on your own, dad. I'll be sure to send flowers at your funeral."

"But... but dear..." Shikamaru's father stammered at the wrath of his spouse, trying desperately to shrug off what he said, but of no avail. "Yes, I am... a LOUD-MOUTHED MONSTER!! So WHAT, STUPID OLD MAN?!!" she screamed and brought her fist down squarely on her husband's head in a hard whack.

Minutes later, Shikamaru and his father were walking together outside their house side by side, each towards their own destination. Shikamaru's father rubbed his head where he was whacked moments before.

"See, I told you they were no-good troublemakers," Shikamaru grumbled. This time, his father merely smiled and said, "You'll see, my son. You'll see..." as he turned away at an intersection and walked off.

As usual, he was the earliest in his team to arrive at the training area. _'This is so dumb. I'm the earliest as usual...'_ Shikamaru thought as he slumped down by a tree and looked at the sky. He admired how serene the clouds looked, how they moved unhurried across the sky, so much unlike humans. Humans rush too much to slow down and smell the roses.

He was so engrossed by the beautiful heavens that he did not notice a blonde girl walking up to his side.

"Morning, Shikamaru!" the girl let out a shrill greeting as her face suddenly popped up above him. He jumped. "Damn it, Ino. Don't do that, my weak heart can't tolerate this," he complained as he sat up.

Yamanaka Ino was the daughter of the owner of the flower shop near his house. She was a beautiful girl with long silky blonde hair, although she can be bossy and annoying at times. However, she was a really good friend and Shikamaru really enjoyed being around her, for some reason.

"C'mon, you should get up. Chouji and Asuma should be arriving any moment now. They stopped to get some snacks as usual," Ino grinned and offered her hand to her team mate. Shikamaru smiled and gladly accepted the offer. Pulling himself up is so tiring, he might as well use the help.

Shikamaru grabbed the hand of his team mate and started to pull himself up. _'Her hands are really... soft and smooth.'_ He quickly shrugged off the thought.

As Ino pulled her lazy friend off the ground, her leg suddenly got caught on an exposed branch of a tree and lost her footing, sending her sprawling backwards towards the ground and pulling Shikamaru along with her. The pair ended up in a rather awkward position on the ground, and both their eyes widened in shock as Shikamaru's lips somehow found its way onto Ino's.

"Whoa. Gone for less than five minutes and you two lovebirds start getting all cosy already? Aren't you a little too hasty for yourself, Shikamaru?" a familiar gruff voice chuckled behind the twosome. The boy's face burned deep red and quickly tore himself from the girl's awkward embrace to find Asuma-sensei leaning against a tree cross-armed and his friend Chouji several steps behind, laughing his head off.

"No, no! It's not what you think, really!" Shikamaru desperately protested, his face still burning with embarrassment. "I was... and... err...then she... umm..." It was not everyday that you find Shikamaru so desperate, he was usually calm even in the gravest of situations.

"My, my... The genius is finally at a loss of what to do! Checkmate, buddy!" Chouji guffawed through his snacks which he continued stuffing into his face even though he is laughing so hard. "Hmph, be careful not to choke to death on potato chips, fa-" he stopped abruptly as he remembered what happened the last time Chouji heard that word. _'Ah, forget it. Let them laugh. It won't last long... I hope.'_

Shikamaru turned back to Ino to find her sitting on the ground, her back facing him. Both her hands were covering her face. One could probably guess that she is trying to hide her blushing face. "Ino... Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" he was suddenly interrupted by the girl. "No, it's okay. I pulled you down, after all." Ino said in a soft and gentle voice, very unlike her usual self.

Shikamaru promptly pulled himself up and helped Ino up as well, taking care not to have a repeat performance of the incident. "T-thanks," Ino muttered shyly, trying to avoid eye contact with the boy she just pressed lips with. Shikamaru brushed the dust off his pants and tried to say as casually as he could, "Ah, let's just forget this whole incident, okay Ino?" The girl merely nodded vaguely, still blushing.

Shikamaru gave a death glare to both Asuma and Chouji, and muttered, "Aren't we supposed to train or something?" Chouji laughed and gave a sly grin, "Well, I'm sure I can keep quiet, as long as I don't feel hungry..." Shikamaru knew what he meant, _'Damn, I'm going to go broke feeding this guy. How bothersome...'_

Still chuckling from the incident, Asuma announced, "Yes, yes. Training..." The bearded man than eyed his team for a moment before continuing. Chouji was still busy stuffing his face, Shikamaru leaned against a tree, his face still flushed, and Ino was looking at the floor trying not to look at anyone.

"Today, my team... You will be doing some thing special..."

**Chapter 01 End!  
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Ending notes:  
Yes, a cliff-hanger! You hate them and love them at the same time! Anyway, sorry for the cliché 'trip-and-kiss' scenario... I'm sure this has been done a million times but it just seemed appropriate at time of writing. So, I'll be looking forward to the reviews and look out for Chapter 02 coming real soon. (In around a week or so, unless I am consumed by that weird cursed-seal some weird snake guy gave me last week... it still stings. Oww.)

By the way, I have a question. I've noticed that in manga and anime there are sometimes suffixes to peoples' names -kun, or -chan, or whatever. Could anyone please tell me what they mean and how they are used? Thanks in advance. A list would be greatly appreciated.


	2. A Bothersome Hunt

_Disclaimer:  
I don't own Naruto. I wonder why I'm writing this anyway... It's so bothersome... Sheesh._  
  
Author's Note:  
Yes! My second chapter! I'm enjoying this more than I thought. I really should write more often. This chapter came faster than expected because I was a little too free these few days, so expect the other updates to take a little longer.

Thank's to MysticMoon for being the first person to review my first ever chapter, and for helping me with my request in the last chapter.

This is my first story for , but please don't go soft on me just because of that. I strive for improvement, so any and all constructive criticism is appreciated. But no flames please, my innocent mind cannot tolerate such mindless acts. Thanks to all reviewers in advance.  
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**Girls, I hate them... I think****  
A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung****  
  
Chapter 02: A Bothersome Hunt**

"Today, my team... You will be doing something special..." announced the Jounin in a deep and mysterious voice. _'Special? It probably means tiring as well... Bah.'_ Shikamaru retorted in his mind. Chouji continued munching on his snacks, and Ino was expressionless save the vague redness on her cheeks that hadn't subsided.

The Jounin said no more and merely handed a piece of paper to Shikamaru and walked away. "Have fun."

The Jounin suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Oh, and Chouji, keep an eye on these two, will you? I don't want them messing around during training," he grinned as he gave a wink to the chubby boy, who started laughing again.

Shikamaru merely mumbled, "Bah. Damned sensei," and gave a sharp glance which spelled death to his chubby friend. Chouji shut up almost immediately, but he continued to giggle every now and then.

The trio looked at the piece of paper. At first sight, it seemed to contain gibberish. "What is this?" Ino was returning to her normal self again, although she continued to avoid eye contact with Shikamaru. "Is this some kind of a joke?" she complained, hands on her hips.

"No, wait. It seems to be a cipher," Shikamaru observed the characters in the piece of paper, his mind working furiously now. He sat down on the floor and closed his eyes, assuming the position signalling that he was in deep thought. "Psst, Ino. Get him a piece of paper and a pen. I have a feeling he's going to need them," whispered Chouji.

Ino nodded and dug into her storage pouch. She quickly pulled out the items and placed them in front of her genius friend. _'We'll leave this to him. I'm sure Asuma-sensei has prepared a part for each of us.'_

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open a moment later. He saw the pen and paper on the floor ready for his use and picked them up without hesitating. He stated scribbling onto the empty piece of paper.

Both Ino and Chouji, curious to know what their friend was scribbling on the paper, peered over his shoulders; Ino from the left, Chouji from the other side. Ino's hair flowed onto Shikamaru's back as she observed her friend solve the seemingly-impossible puzzle.

Ino did not notice it as she was so engrossed in watching the scribbling, but Shikamaru felt the soft silken blonde hair flowing down his back, some touching his bare neck. _'Wow, it's so soft. And she smells so nice from this close too...'_ Right then, he made a mistake in deciphering. _'Damn, what was I thinking?! I hate girls, they're so trouble some.'_ He tried to snap himself out of it and concentrate on the puzzle.

Soon, he had worked out the entire cipher. Not really an awesome feat for someone with an IQ of 200.

The deciphered message read, 'Should Maiden's Eyelashes and Devil's Horns unite, a gift shall be bestowed from Akuri reversed'. The trio looked at the strange message.

"What is this?" Shikamaru groaned, "I've deciphered it and it still doesn't make sense..."

"Maiden's Eyelashes? I know what it is!" Ino shrieked in joy. The two boys looked at her, puzzled. "I have a whole bunch of them at home! Come on, let's go get them!" Ino started to run off to her house.

"Wait a second. I heard my dad talk about Devil's Horns before. It is merely a nickname for a special brew of chicken feet," Chouji interrupted the girl's stride. "I should be able to ask him to whip up a batch for us... You two go on ahead and get the plants; we'll meet back here in about an hour."

"No. We meet at Iruka's in an hour," announced Shikamaru. Both team mates looked at him, puzzled. "Hmph. It says there _Akuri reversed_. Try reversing the word Akuri."

Ino could not help but admire the boy's intelligence. "Well, let's get moving, guys!" she screamed in excitement. She started to run off without Shikamaru.

Just as Shikamaru was about to sprint off after the over-enthusiastic girl, Chouji gave a grin, "Well, I gave you your chance. Use it well," he gave a thumbs up sign, "go for it, Shikamaru!"

"Bah, just don't eat up our Devil's Horns, or whatever you call it," Shikamaru was a little annoyed, yet also a little grateful for his friend leaving them both alone. _'Yeah, maybe I make a move on her...'_ He shuddered at the thought and sprinted after the girl.

"Damn it, Ino! Slow down!" shouted the boy as he chased after Ino. Ino complied and slowed down to a fast walk. "Sheesh, can't you learn to relax a little?" complained Shikamaru as he caught up. _'Slow down so that I have time to look at you... What am I thinking?! Why would I want to look at that loud mouthed monster?!'_ He tried to keep a straight face as he walked beside Ino, but his eyes uncontrollably drifted towards the beautiful blonde beside him. He smiled as he remembered what had happened a moment ago.

"Heh heh. I guess I was a little too excited," grinned the girl. She turned and caught Shikamaru staring at her. The boy quickly looked away and pretended nothing had happened, his face turning red. _'I've never really noticed it, but he looks rather cute when he blushes...'_ Ino couldn't believe what just went through her mind. _'No way am I going to fall for that lazy bum, he's a good friend and that's all...'_ A war was going through her mind.

The rather awkward couple arrived at Ino's house a few minutes later and they went straight into the garden. Her parents were away for the week, so she was living alone at the moment.

"Come on, you lazy bum! Stop standing there and help me with this!" Ino yelled at the boy leaning at the fence, looking at the clouds once more. "Bah, you're so troublesome," Shikamaru groaned and proceeded to help Ino pick the Maiden's Eyelashes.

As he helped the girl pick the flowers, he unconsciously moved closer and closer to her. Ino jumped when she discovered that Shikamaru's face was just mere centimetres away from hers. She fell backwards onto the muddy soil that covered her garden, dirtying her clothes.

"Ack. I'll have to clean up after this," Ino groaned as she attempted to brush off the mud that stuck to her clothes stubbornly.

After they had collected what Ino decided as 'enough', Ino picked up the bunch of flowers to be presented to Asuma and started to walk towards her house. "Come on in, wait for a moment while I wash up," Ino lead Shikamaru to her room and ordered him to sit on a chair by the window.

Shikamaru pulled the bunch of flowers from Ino's arms and merely mumbled, "Bah, it's troublesome but I'll carry this since you're going to ask me to do it anyway."

_'Shikamaru... You can be so nice sometimes...'_ Ino smiled as she entered the bathroom. Suddenly her head popped out at the door and warned in a shrill voice, "Don't you dare touch anything!" She disappeared again leaving Shikamaru looking at her blankly.

_'Oh, I won't. It's stupid going through girly stuff anyway...'_ Shikamaru retorted in his mind. He scanned Ino's room and noticed a small frame beside her bed. It looked old, but was well taken care of. _Hey, what's this..?' _The boy thought curiously as he dragged himself closer to the frame. His eyes widened at what he saw.

It was a long time ago, but he remembered it vividly, for some reason. He was still a little boy at the age of seven. "Hey, Shikamaru!" a girl with soft pink hair spoke to him, "it's Ino-chan's birthday tomorrow, aren't you going to get her anything?"

Even at that young age, he was really lazy. "Bah, forget it, it's so troublesome..." he complained and walked off. Even as he said that he was thinking of what to get her. He was broke, and his mother wasn't going to give him any more allowance until the next week.

It was a good thing Shikamaru was rather good at origami. As soon as he got home that evening, he got to work without even having dinner. That was probably the first time he put in so much effort into something. At long last, way past midnight, his creation was complete.

"Oh, thank you Shikamaru!" cried Ino as she hugged him tightly, "It's so beautiful!" She was so happy at the present Shikamaru made for her - a small but beautiful heart folded from a piece of paper. On it was written, 'Happy Birthday, Ino! From Shikamaru".

He didn't expect such an insignificant little object to be cherished so deeply that it was kept for so many years. _'I'm special... to her? In what way?'_ Shikamaru's heart pounded on his chest as he wondered at the chances that she may like him. _'Her? Liking me? Yeah, right...'_ He tried to laugh softly and shrugged off the thought.

Ten minutes later, Ino got out of the bathroom to discover Shikamaru slumped at the windowsill, half asleep. Sikamaru could smell the her fragrance, only this time it was much stronger. The boy yawned and turned around, "Sheesh, why are you girls always so slow at dressing up?" He didn't really mind waiting for anything, least of all Ino, but he still couldn't resist complaining about everything.

In no more that a minute they were both heading towards Iruka's apartment, which was a ten-minute walk from Ino's house. Along the road they ran into team seven, lead by Kakashi.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun!" Ino greeted. Somehow, those words stung Shikamaru inside. He had nothing against the raven haired boy, who was the offspring of the Uchiha Clan, but he somehow felt very uneasy around the handsome boy.

Ino had said that she lost interest in Uchiha a long time ago, but her actions around her former crush somehow seemed to hint otherwise, at least in Shikamaru's eyes. He gets agitated whenever Ino was around Uchiha. He tried to shake off the thought but his eyes burned with jealousy. _'It this what it is like to be jealous? But why? Why am I jealous about Ino? God damn it, she's contaminating my mind!'_ Shikamaru slapped his forehead, irritated.

Soon, they arrived at Iruka's apartment and found both Asuma and Chouji already waiting for them. Miraculously, Chouji had managed not to eat the food he was carrying. Asuma quickly explained that Iruka was sick and that he had intended to visit him earlier, but he wanted to have fun first, so he set up this little test.

They went into Iruka's, stayed for about an hour or so, and left. Asuma congratulated the team on a job well done and couldn't resist teasing Shikamaru and Ino another time before walking off into the streets. _'God damn it, stop bothering my Ino,'_ he glared at his sensei for a moment before realising that he was at it again, _'M-my Ino?! God damn it... Why do I keep thinking about her?!'_

That night, Shikamaru tossed and turned in his bed, his mind plagued by the image of the gorgeous blonde. _'Am I... in love? But Ino is my friend! How could I - ? Arrgh.'_

He was puzzled. For the first time in many years, the genius tactician was puzzled. He knew this feeling - he had felt it for a long time, but he simply shrugged it off and ignored it, acting cool and expressionless while deep down, he had always loved Ino from the bottom of his heart.

He suddenly remembered his old gift in Ino's room and smiled. _'I wonder if she feels the same way?'_

He touched his lips in reminiscence of the accident this morning. He didn't want to admit it, but he enjoyed every moment of it. Embarrassing it may be, that feeling will always have a special place in his heart.

_'My first kiss...'_ he thought and smiled as he finally drifted off into peaceful slumber.

**Chapter 02 End!**

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Ending Notes:

So sorry for the stupid names (Maiden's Eyelashes and Devil's Horns... bah), it's late... and I can't think anymore (seems that everyone likes to write after midnight for some reason). Chakra... running... out... Arrgh... And I've gotta admit, the puzzle was a little stupid as well, but I had to find some way to get Shikamaru into Ino's house. Yeah, this one could be a permanent ending if I let it be one, but the... voices... in... my head... say... I must... continue... Arrgh!!! Expect an update in about a week. (Hopefully less - that is provided I don't use up all my chakra running around using my Byakugan for naughty purposes)


	3. Different, Yet Same

Notice: Sorry but somehow won't let me post links in my fic... (Thanks to MysticMoon for pointing this out... sorta) Anyway, I have made a funny little comic strip about Sasuke by cutting and pasting from the manga and changing the text. Take a look at it if you're interested, you can find a link to it on my bio (profile page).  
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Disclaimer:  
Seriously, everyone is saying this. The owners of Naruto should get it by now, no? I don't own Naruto, but I do own a PC, a copy of Microsoft Office 2003, and a twisted mind that demands that I write a fanfic for Naruto... Arrgh, it's the voices in my head again... No!!!  
  
_Author's Note:  
I was in a saddening, unmotivated despair... But as I read the few, but lovingly encouraging reviews from my beloved reviewers, I can feel their warm and energetic encouragement, pushing me forward to complete this fanfic... So, my beloved readers... You have my warm and wholehearted promise that I will complete this fanfic. Yeah!!! does Gai and Rock Lee stupid thumbs up pose... sparkle sparkle... (eww...)  
  
Thanks too all reviewers for their support and especially Xoni Newcomer for reminding me to enable anonymous reviews, yourbonesakin for giving me another nice list of suffix uses, and MysticMoon for informing me that the address to my little comic strip was messed up.  
  
Finally, the third chapter is complete. Personally, I don't like this chapter, but it is necessary evil to prepare for the grand finale.  
  
This is my first story for , but please don't go soft on me just because of that. I strive for improvement, so any and all constructive criticism is appreciated. But no flames please, my innocent mind cannot tolerate such mindless acts. Thanks to all reviewers in advance.

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Girls, I hate them... I think  
A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung  
  
Chapter 03: Different, Yet Same  
  
**The alarm clock tore Shikamaru from bed the next morning. He followed his daily routine lazily and almost unwillingly, but as usual, a strange force pushed him forward. That force - he had never noticed it before, but he had always felt it. _'Bah, I can't imagine why I even bother getting up...'_ He tried to ignore his thoughts.  
  
He had breakfast, and soon was on his way to the usual meeting place at the training grounds. Last nights thoughts drifted into his mind, and it seemed like a dream. He still couldn't believe he had acknowledged his affection towards his blonde team mate. _'Sheesh. This is annoying...'  
  
_He was the earliest as usual, and he slumped down at his usual spot by the tree. His team arrived soon after, and they started to discuss the agenda for the day with their Jounin sensei.  
  
"Today, you will carry out a mission," Asuma announced to the dismay of his three students. Shikamaru yawned, "Aww... Fine, as long as I don't have to move around too much."  
  
"Oh, don't worry; this is an easy one," Asuma said cheerfully, "just a simple retrieval mission, a rank D, or so they claimed." The bearded Jounin proceeded to explain the details.  
  
It turned out that some mountain bandits have stolen some artefacts from a convoy coming in from a neighbouring country. According to witness reports and detailed analysis, the bandits possess almost no fighting skills whatsoever, so a small group of rookies can probably handle them without much effort. Shikamaru breathed a sigh of relief from the thought, "Without much effort, eh? Good."  
  
Ino started to berate her lazy team mate, "Damn it, Shikamaru! Can't you be a little more motivated?! You're so lazy, you idiot! You're so lazy that the only time I see you actually putting effort into something is when you make my - !" She suddenly stopped and her cheeks turned red as she realised that she almost spewed out an embarrassing, yet flattering fact. _'... my birthday presents every year...'_ She stared at the ground, her normally talkative self at a loss of words.  
  
"Make what, loud-mouth? Geez, you're annoying. You're so annoying that you come into my dreams every night and bother me..." Shikamaru mumbled in defence without much thinking. Asuma snorted and Chouji tried to stifle a laugh. "What..?! You even dream about Ino?" Chouji said while trying to hold back his laughter.  
  
Shikamaru's eyes widened in shock as he realised his carelessness, sweat forming at his face as he tried desperately to conceal his blush. He could merely give a snort, "Bah. Shut up. Let's get the mission over with, I want to go home." He feigned a yawn.  
  
With that, Asuma started to plan the strategy for the mission with Shikamaru. Actually, Shikamaru did most of the planning, his tactical genius far surpassing his Jounin sensei and probably every other Shinobi in the Hidden Leaf Village. Shikamaru groaned, "That's as far as I can plan with current information. We'll have to complete this when we get there... Anyway, if they're as bad as you say, you can probably finish them off by yourself," the boy complained to his sensei.  
  
"That's no fun," Asuma explained and smiled, "I'm going to hang back and see how my team performs."  
  
The team set off, leaping from tree to tree towards their destination - a deserted cave in the mountains. As usual, Shikamaru lagged behind, constantly complaining about everyone hurrying too much. "Come on, lazy bum! You're lagging behind!" yelled Ino. She hadn't realised it but she enjoyed picking arguments with the genius, for some reason.  
  
The cave was surrounded by an improvised fence made of hard wood from freshly cut trees. The team could hear the bandits chatting inside the protected compound, laughing every now and then. _'One, two, three...'_ Shikamaru started counting the voices inside while remaining hidden in the bushes.  
  
"There's around nine or ten bandits inside," he whispered to his team mates which nodded in acknowledgement. Off in the distance he could sense his sensei observing them, ready to jump in should his plan go awry. _'Not that that's going to happen anyway...'_ Shikamaru was confident that his plan would work out. He started to explain his battle-plan to his team mates, who listened attentively.  
  
It was more like a game than a mission. With a nod from the mastermind, Chouji executed the first phase of the plan. "Multi-Size no Jutsu!" Chouji expanded several times his normal size as he roared.  
  
"Yee-haw!" the upsized boy hollered as he pulled in his head and limbs and started to roll towards the fence. He effortlessly tore a hole in the seemingly impassable wooden barrier and crashed towards the bandits standing guard.  
  
In mere seconds Chouji had knocked out three of the bandits like pins in a bowling alley. "Retreat to the cave! The fatso can't fit inside!" the supposed leader of the bandits yelled and started running to the cave, probably praising his own supposed strategic genius.  
  
The simple-minded bandits were no match for the genius that was Shikamaru. They gasped in shock as they all froze the moment the last of them stepped into the cave's darkness. "Hmph. Idiots. You have just entered the domain of my Kagemane no Jutsu," Shikamaru announced half-heartedly. The darkness of the cave expanded the binding area of his jutsu almost completely throughout the entire interior of the cave.  
  
Without hesitating, Ino immediately used her Mind Transfer no Jutsu on the bandit brandishing a large stick. Her lifeless body slumped into Shikamaru's gentle arms. He really liked the job as caretaker of her lifeless body when she was using her mind transfer technique. Her fragrance tingled in his nostrils again as he gently and discreetly ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the soft silky feeling. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Chouji teased from behind, snapping him back into reality. _'Damn, I've got to concentrate on the plan...'_ He slapped his forehead and the bandits followed his action.  
  
Shikamaru released the bandits one by one, which Ino knocked out immediately with the stick the bandit she possessed was brandishing. Soon, all the bandits were on the ground, groaning in pain or unconscious. The Ino-possessed bandit walked towards Shikamaru and turned around. The moment she released her jutsu, Shikamaru gave a swift whack at the back of the bandit's neck, knocking him out immediately. "One down," he gave a triumphant smirk, "we win."  
  
Ino stood up in her own body and started ran into the cave, excited. "Now, let's look for the stolen artefacts!" she shrieked in joy.  
  
"Ino, you idiot, don't! There might be - !" Shikamaru roared in a tone with ferocity never present within him before as he made a mad dash to the careless blonde.  
  
It was too late. Ino tripped on a wire hidden carefully within the cave and a sharp snap could be heard from the cave wall beside her. She sprawled onto the ground and saw a spear sailing swiftly towards her.  
  
Asuma saw what was happening and immediately began to dash towards the helpless girl. _'Damn it, it's too late...'  
  
_The grotesque sound of ripping was heard as cold steel tore through delicate flesh. Blood sprayed everywhere and splattered onto Ino's face.  
  
Ino screamed.  
  
**Chapter 03 End!  
  
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**  
**Ending Notes:  
Haha! Yet another cliff-hanger. Did you know that cliff-hangers are psychological tricks to get you to come back and read the next chapter? Seriously, I just can't help myself. (Well, actually this scenario is a duh - cliché one... yet again) Anyway, I apologise if they seem a little merciful leaving a bunch of bloodthirsty bandits alive and merely unconscious, but I'm rather against mindless killing. (influence from Rurouni Kenshin... or Samurai X as some people call them...) I know you hate me, but just bear with me, I'll update as soon as possible. I still haven't learnt how to release the stupid Kage Bunshin, so my clones are fighting over my PC. Hopefully they won't delete this story by accident. (Yikes) 


	4. Girls are so bothersome, Bah

NOTE: There is a funny comic I made about Sasuke, if you're interested. You can find a link to it in my bio (profile page). For some reason doesn't let me insert links here. Hmph._  
  
Disclaimer:  
I don't own Naruto. If I did, Shikamaru would be the main character and it would be a mushy love story.  
  
_Author's Note:  
Haha. Finally we get to the grand finale of the story. Yeah, another chapter full of clichés and obvious turn of events, but hey... No matter how many times it's done we still love it... Right?  
  
This story has been knocked up to PG-13 for implied nudity. (Don't worry; it's the humorous type, not the sick lemony type...) Anyway, this is the grand finale, but NOT the last chapter. I still have an epilogue to write.  
  
This is my first story for , but please don't go soft on me just because of that. I strive for improvement, so any and all constructive criticism is appreciated. But no flames please, my innocent mind cannot tolerate such mindless acts. Thanks to all reviewers in advance.

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**  
Girls, I hate them... I think  
A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung  
  
Chapter 04: It is inevitable...**  
  
Hmph. It seems that everyone was guessing that Shikamaru blocked the spear. Guess what? You're WRONG!! Now I have to carry out the troublesome job of changing the plot... Sheesh.  
  
So anyway, Ino screamed.  
  
"NO!!!!" Shikamaru cried out in despair as he saw the blonde fall, spear sticking into her stomach. Blood sprayed everywhere, onto Ino, all over the cave, and even onto Shikamaru.  
  
Shikamaru slumped before the girl he loved, her blood flowing from the wound openly.  
  
_'Weird...'_ Shikamaru thought as he looked at the 'blood'. It didn't really look like blood. He promptly smeared some onto his finger and tasted it. _'...strawberry juice?'_  
  
The boy prodded Ino on the shoulder. "Don't touch me. I'm dead," she mumbled while trying to keep her eyes shut.  
  
"You could've used proper-looking blood, y'know..." Shikamaru pouted as he looked at me. He then promptly gave the 'spear' a tug. "Pfft... Styrofoam sticks glued onto Ino..." he glared at me as he dropped the props on the floor.  
  
_Shut up, Shikamaru. Do not question what I write in this fanfic! I write what I want to write as I want to write them! I am the AUTHOR of this story... I AM GOD OF THIS STORY!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!_  
  
Ino jolted up from her feigned stupor. "Shut up Kian Bung!" she yelled at me as she flung multiple kunai at me, which I took squarely in the chest.  
  
_Idiot. How am I supposed to write if I'm dead?_  
  
"Oh damn! Sorry Kian Bung! Sorry!" the girl desperately apologised as she ran towards my limp body sprawled onto the floor, only to find... POOF "...Kawarimi?!"  
  
_Heh. Sucker._  
  
"You better write the story properly now, stupid author!" Ino screamed, her full of killer-intent.  
  
_No._  
  
"Why do I have to be the one to get stabbed?!" she questioned fiercely.  
  
_Reader's preferences, I guess._  
  
"I don't freaking care about your readers' preferences!!" she screamed.  
  
_That's your problem._  
  
The girl was obviously outraged. She turned away from me and sat at a corner of the cave.  
  
_I win. Hehehe..._  
  
"No, you don't..." the girl snickered. What she did next was unimaginable...  
  
She turned around and opened her shirt, flashing her breasts. In my face.  
  
I felt blood rush to my head and blast out of my nose. I was knocked back by the inevitable nosebleed and flew clear across the cave and out into the forest.  
  
Ino closed her shirt and buttoned it up, then walked towards my limp and lifeless body and kicked me in the face, blood still trailing down my nostrils. "I win, idiot..."  
  
I could barely mumble out a few unintelligible words, my body twitching, stunned by her actions.  
  
_Y-yes... You... w-win... Ahh... S-sexy... Ino...twitch twitch_  
  
So, instead of the modified storyline which Ino obviously dislikes, I guess I'll have to go with the plot that I ORIGINALLY planned out, no matter how obvious it is. sigh  
  
Sorry, I was really hoping to give you all a surprise. But Ino just has to spoil it.  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
_Nothing, Ino. Err... Let's just go on with the story now...  
  
_

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**  
Girls, I hate them... I think  
A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung  
  
The REAL Chapter 04: Girls Are So Bothersome... Bah  
  
**"Damn it... You girls... are so... bothersome... bah..."  
  
Ino looked up and found Shikamaru standing, back arched after taking the spear for her. The spear had impaled through his stomach area, and he was bleeding heavily. He slumped onto the floor lifelessly, his face already losing its colour.  
  
"Shikamaru!" Ino screamed as she scrambled to her friend's side, tears rolling down her cheeks as she realised what he had just done for her. "Idiot, why did you do this?" she yelled at Shikamaru.  
  
Asuma picked the boy up and pulled the spear out of him. "Come on, we have no time! The artefacts can wait," he was already off before he finished his sentence. _'He moved... faster than any Jounin I had ever seen...'_ his thought as he looked at the boy's pale face. He moved as fast as he could through the forest.  
  
Shikamaru was warded into the hospital after an emergency treatment. He lost a lot of blood and the spear had damaged various organs, but miraculously, he survived the ordeal. Unfortunately, due to unexplainable circumstances, he stayed in a state of coma after his wounds were healed.  
  
Ino visited Shikamaru without fail everyday. She didn't know whether it was from guilt, from friendship or whatever, but she spent every second of her free time beside him, hoping to be the first one he sees when he wakes up.  
  
Three months later, Shikamaru had healed enough to be sent home. He was still in coma and somehow refused to wake up. Ino visited the Nara household everyday. Shikamaru's parents were understanding. They comforted Ino and told her it wasn't her fault that their son ended up this way.  
  
One day, Ino was beside Shikamaru's bed as usual. Something familiar caught her eye - a small and ugly-looking little teddy bear was sitting beside his alarm clock, almost hidden from view. She reached for that little doll when a voice behind her startled her, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ino."  
  
Ino turned around and found Shikamaru's father leaning against the door. _'Shikamaru and his father are so alike...'_ she thought as she observed her friend's parent. "I once touched that and commented on its ugliness and he almost tore my arm off," the man grinned as he walked off, "must be some gift from the girl in his heart... Heh."  
  
Ino blushed at the words. She picked up the little bear and looked at it, remembering what happened a long time ago...  
  
She was only seven then, a new student at the Ninja Academy. There was this boy she really liked, even though he wasn't particularly good looking. He was lazy and complained a lot, but he was really nice to her, unlike most other boys.  
  
One day, she heard that his birthday was arriving soon. She spent weeks making a little teddy bear for him, injuring her fingers more times than she cared to remember. At last, it was complete. It wasn't beautiful, but she was proud of it.  
  
"Bah, a girly doll... What am I supposed to do with it?" the boy commented as he received the present from Ino. Those cruel words tore her heart apart. She turned away and ran off. She cried a river when she got home that day. _'In his eyes... I'm just another annoying girl...'_ she used to think.  
  
Ino suddenly felt something under the little teddy bear. She didn't remember putting anything under the bear. She turned it around, and her heart skipped at beat when she saw what it was.  
  
Under the little bear was a little photo of herself, cut into the shape of a heart, and carefully sewn onto the bear. Ino's hands trembled as tears start to well up in her eyes.  
  
_'Shikamaru... I didn't know... that you felt the same way. I always thought that in your eyes, I was just an annoying girl. I was so hurt that I tried to take my mind off you by chasing after Sasuke-kun... Please forgive me... Shikamaru, I... I love you too...'  
  
_Tears started to flow from her eyes freely. She dropped her head onto Shikamaru's chest and cried, "Please wake up, Shikamaru... Please wake up..."  
  
Suddenly, she felt a gentle hand stroke her hair and she heard a weak but familiar voice, "God damn it, Ino. You're so noisy... I was having a nice dream..."  
  
Ino gave a shriek of joy and hugged her friend tightly. "Ouch, not so hard. It still hurts, you know?" Shikamaru complained weakly. Ino broke off and the boy lay down on his bed again. "Damn, this is so tiring..." Even in this state, Shikamaru tried to hide his true feelings.  
  
Ino suddenly moved her face close to Shikamaru's face, whose eyes widened in surprise. "Wh - what are you doing, Ino?" His face burned in a red colour that was lost from his face for a long time. Ino couldn't help but giggle lightly at the amusing expression on his face.  
  
"You're supposedly the most intelligent person in the whole village. You figure it out," Ino gazed into Shikamaru's eyes and pressed her lips onto his. Shikamaru was shocked for a moment, but his eyes softened and he returned the kiss.  
  
After a long passionate kiss, Ino said, "This time, it is no accident..."  
  
Shikamaru gazed into the blonde's eyes and said, "Ino, I love you."  
  
"I know..." came the reply and she pressed her lips onto his once again.  
  
**THE END... FOR NOW  
  
**

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**  
**Ending Notes:  
Sorry about the fake chapter. It just kind of got stuck in my mind after I received multiple reviews guessing the obvious. (well duh, of course Shikamaru was going to take the spear... it's almost a rule that he has to...) Hope you all liked it.  
  
Yeah, a classic (and corny) ending that closes with a kiss and a declaration of love. How romantic... aww... Hah, I guess that was pretty lame, especially how Shikamaru wakes up exactly when he's supposed to... Y'know what? I have no idea how he could be in a coma. But what the heck, what's done is done.  
  
But wait, there's more! I intend to write an epilogue for this story, just for kicks... After I recover fully from my severe nosebleed... (Bursts into nosebleed at the thought of what happened above...) twitch twitch ...damn.  
  
Whoa. I actually kept this story PG-13! A room, a couple and a bed... Personally I think a lot more than just a kiss would have happened... But y'know what, I feel that it is preferable to end the story while everyone was still feeling warm and tingly inside. Aww... That romantic feeling is so nice, isn't it? 


	5. Epilogue

NOTE:  
Sasuke fun comic still available! Get the link from my profile page!_  
  
Disclaimer:  
Does anyone even read this? Ogg no own Naruto. Ugg...  
  
_Author's Note:  
The end is here! This is the real last chapter of my rather short story. Enjoy!  
  
This is my first story for , but please don't go soft on me just because of that. I strive for improvement, so any and all constructive criticism is appreciated. But no flames please, my innocent mind cannot tolerate such mindless acts. Thanks to all reviewers in advance.

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**  
Girls, I hate them... I think  
A Nara Shikamaru Fanfic by Yeo Kian Bung  
  
Chapter 05: Epilogue  
  
**A few years later, Shikamaru married Ino and they had a beautiful child... The Nara lineage continued...  
  
The shrill scream of the alarm clock tore Shikano out of his dreams. _'God damn it, I don't even know why I bother using this...'_ He sat up and gave a long and lazy yawn. He slowly washed up and dragged himself out to the dining table.  
  
"Nara Shikano!" his mother started, "can't you see what time it is?! Honestly, you're a younger version of you lazy father! I don't even know why I married that bum! Now finish your breakfast quickly or you're both going to be late again!" As she said that, she slammed his breakfast onto the table and walked away.  
  
"Bah, females are so bothersome. I hate them..." Shikano mumbled as soon as his mother is out of earshot.  
  
"Yeah, you may think so now. I was thinking exactly the same thing until the day I first kissed your mother," Shikano's father explained, "Sure, she may be a loud-mouthed beast screaming at us at the slightest provocation, but she actually has a really soft heart and she loves me more than anything else in the world..." The middle-aged man grinned as he spoke, not noticing his wife behind him, fists clenched and growling like a rabid beast.  
  
Shikano turned his attention towards his breakfast and mumbled nonchalantly, "You're on your own, dad. I'll be sure to send flowers at your funeral..."  
  
"But... but Ino..." Shikamaru stammered at the wrath of his spouse, trying desperately to shrug off what he had said, but of no avail. "Yes... I am A LOUD-MOUTHED BEAST!! So WHAT, STUPID OLD BUM?!!" she screamed and brought her fist down squarely on her husband's head in a hard whack.  
  
Minutes later, Shikamaru and his son Shikano were walking together outside their house, side by side. Shikamaru rubbed his head which still stung from the whack moments before.  
  
"See, I told you that females are no-good troublemakers," Shikano grumbled.  
  
Shikamaru merely smiled and stated, "Oh, we'll see... For all I know, you're seeing the girl you love today."  
  
Shikano gasped at the comment and his face burned red, signalling the truth in his father's words. He quickened his pace and walked off, leaving his father grinning behind.  
  
Shikamaru smiled and touched his lips in reminiscence of that fateful day a long time ago, when he first pressed his lips onto Ino's...  
  
**THE END... SERIOUSLY.  
  
**

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**  
**Ending Notes:  
Yeah! This is the real ending. Don't tell me it's a déja-vu chapter. It's meant to be a reminiscence of the first chapter of this rather short story. Thanks to everyone who stayed with the story all the way until the end, and big big thanks to all who gave reviews! Look out for more stories to come!  
  
Now, I'll have to carry on with my ahem data-collection ahem activities. (Byakugan is a great help!) 


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